What To Do When You Get Emotional During A Speech
Many of our clients have to discuss difficult topics during their media interviews and speeches.
For example, I work with more than 100 burn survivors each year. They have a story to tell – but telling their stories about barely escaping a house fire or surviving brutal domestic abuse isn’t easy.
Another client, a zookeeper, could barely contain her grief when discussing the death of one of her beloved animals.
Another recent client chose virtual schooling for her children and got upset when asked whether her neighbors thought her decision was strange. It’s no wonder she got emotional – few things will make people more defensive than having their choices as parents questioned by outsiders.
So what should you do when you find yourself getting emotional during a speech or media interview?
Here are three things to keep in mind if you find yourself getting emotional during a speech or media interview:
1. Ask Yourself Whether It’s Okay To Be Emotional
Most audiences understand why a burn survivor might get emotional when discussing his or her injury. Exhibiting emotion may feel uncomfortable, but in some cases, it may actually enhance your delivery. So don’t automatically try to squelch your emotion just because you’re embarrassed by it. Context matters. When a loving mother, a caring zookeeper, or a disabled burn survivor cries when telling their story, the public tends to understand and empathize. When House Speaker John Boehner cries (as he does regularly), well, that’s a different story.
2. Take a Moment
If you get choked up for a moment, stop talking for a few seconds instead of rushing through your remarks – just put your head down and pause for a few seconds, then look up and continue when you’re ready. If you’re more than just momentarily choked up and fear you may not be able to continue at all, you may need to move on to the next option.
3. De-Personalize and Detach
When people get emotional during a talk, it’s usually because they’re too close to the material. By de-personalizing their stories, they’re often able to get through the material much more easily. For example, the mother might have said:
“I know that some people think virtual home schooling is strange, but I love my kids (begins to choke up) and other people have no right to judge me (begins to tremble and sob). You know (begins to de-personalize), it’s not just about me and my choice. Thousands of parents in our state have decided to pursue virtual schooling for their children, and there are several good reasons for that, such as….”
When emotional speakers make their content less concrete and more abstract, they can often proceed without emotion getting in their way. And once they’re on more solid ground, they can return to the more emotional parts of their story – if and when they’re ready.
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I also find that over-preparing can help when you know it’s going to be an emotional speech. Before speaking at my sister’s wedding, I gave the speech out loud in my car every morning for weeks so when the big day came around, I was a bit desensitized myself, so the emotional content didn’t choke me up as much. There were a few tears in the car those mornings, though!
Great suggestion, Jessie! Thanks for leaving it on the blog (and congratulations on having a new brother-in-law)! 🙂
Brad
In line with #2, simply breathe. When taking a break from emotional info, some folks will hold their breath, waiting for the uncomfortable moment of praying to God you don’t lose your cool in public. The longer you hold your breath, the harder it is to get your head on. Focusing on the simple in and out of breathing is soothing!
Good advice, JC. Thanks for commenting!
Thanx really helped
Good advices. Emotion and passion can be the best things for a speech. Thank you for posting!